My New Violin

I finally got a new violin with the most amazing wood I have ever seen. The back and sides are made with birds eye maple and it's simply stunning, it plays fabulous too. It has a beautiful sound and I have been practicing every day and trying to get back into playing. I hope to learn some new music when I have brushed up on my current songs.

Here are some pictures of my new "toy":

What is life. . .

Got to do with it? Today was a bit of a rough day for me, I have been crying a lot and can't seem to shake it. I think part of the reason I feel this way is all the stress I am under. I don't seem to deal with stress as good as I could, it makes me more depressed and very emotional and ill. Things are good but if only I could control the stress in my life. I am trying really hard.

I did however, find a great place to live, a place where I know my creative juices will be able to flow, I will post some pictures of my new apartment. I really lucked out and found a great place for a steal of a deal. I will be looking after the place for the owner until he returns to Canada. It's fully furnished so I can sell all my "crappy" furniture and move into a chic space.

I just need to come up with $3000.00 somehow for school and whatnot, sure has been hard paying all the bills. I pray that I get a government student loan or I won't be able to go to school at all, not sure what I will do then. I am praying for a miracle. I have started packing some small things like books already and thinking about what I don't want, which is a lot.

Something good has happened in my life too but I won't go into details just yet because I am not sure about it. Time will only tell. On another note, I have been fully weaned off of my Prozac and I don't feel any different which means it wasn't doing anything for me. I am glad I am on one less medication, the bill for medications will be cheaper next month that's for sure. Just a little mad that I have a full bottle of Prozac that I won't be using, it was expensive, oh well!

I guess I should go to bed soon if I want to be up early for church, God willing!
Love and hugs,
Monique

So here are the pictures of my new apartment in Vancouver, British Columbia! I have fallen in love with the grand piano and can't wait to tinkle it's ivories!

Good News

Things are starting to look up in my life and getting better day by day. I am so happy to say that I was accepted to Vancouver Film School for the Acting Essentials and Acting for Film and Televions programs. I am super excited and also scared at the same time. This is a huge move for me and a big change in my life and career. I will be moving to the other end of the country to start a new life on my own yet again. I know that God will provide what I need and I have to keep trusting in Him. He has gotten me through this really rough time in my life and I am starting to feel strong from it all.

I thank God for not letting me take my life because I now realize how stupid it was and that I was so close to death. That alone scares me. I know that my life is what I make it but it took this near death experience to make me realize that I am not ready to give up just yet. I want to do this acting program and hopefully act in movies or on television, it's something creative I can do and it's a challenge for me. Not only do I have major stage fright but I also fear doing anything in front of people. So I am forcing myself into the program hoping to change this and find who I really am.

Praise God for not giving up on me and for me not giving up on myself. I am almost off one of my anti-depressants and being followed very closely by a doctor. He seems to think if I feel the same off of it, then I don't need it. I hope he's right then I will only be on 2 meds instead of three. God grant me the serenity to accept what I can not change, courage to change and wisdom to know the difference.

Monique